Letter to the Editor of the Gettysburg Times


Published yesterday, June 23rd

To the General Commanding;

According to our spies, the enemy is planning the largest incursion into this part of the country in almost a year. I am pleased to report our progress in defense of the Borough of Gettysburg from this threat of invasion by the Army of Tourists.

To date, we have destroyed the bridges and affected strategic road closures on at least four of the main arteries into town, deterring access from the south, west, and north.

Since the newspapers in enemy territory have detailed a plan to demonstrate to the southwest of this town in early July, we have taken all necessary steps to impede any further progress towards town by those unwelcome hordes by way of the Emmittsburg, Taneytown, or Fairfield roads.

Should the invaders flank our defensive lines and gain access to the town, they will find their movements severely restricted by additional barricades and road closures. Any enemy units that dare to hold a position in town in order to harass our merchants will have their wagons and other conveyances targeted by our sharpshooters who will make them pay for their poor judgment.

Residents and merchants of this town will naturally find their own movements and access to supply trains limited by these necessary actions in defense of the town. But they have been assured that we will lift many of the access restrictions later in the year, after the greatest threat of invasion has passed.

Colonel Bob Velke
Militia in Defense of Gettysburg

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